Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
