I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
