Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
