What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
