Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
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There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
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What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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