Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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