heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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