nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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