somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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