I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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