handjob tips. give me some.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
