Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
