now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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