hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
