Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize