When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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