his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize