Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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