He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
