I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize