I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
