i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
