If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
