You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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