Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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