they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
