Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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