ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
