I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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