He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
