her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
