..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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