that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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