I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
