Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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