good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
