Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!