i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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