The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
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What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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