Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
