You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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