Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
