last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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