woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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