Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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