"it" just moved
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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