I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
