i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
