Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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