gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
