i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
