Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
