"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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