Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
