I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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