So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My pussy is not your playground.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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