I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
