There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
