Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So vagazzling was a success
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER