After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.