Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying