If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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