just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
