I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
